Finding Love in a Hopeless Place

9:00 AM

After leaving high school and the mistakes that were the relationships of high school, I really didn't know how to go about meeting guys. I'm not exactly shy, but it seemed like every person I thought I was interested in was SO wrong in the end and let's be real, I thought I was going to be forever alone.

My mom suggested dating sites around my sophomore year of college. Of course, my first thought was  ew, no way! Dating sites are only for people who have no lives, I'm young and can surely meet someone for myself... but, I won't lie, curiosity got the better of me.

I joined Match, but that didn't really last. I didn't want to pay to find a date that probably wasn't going to last, so I moved on to another one. I tried Black People Meet, but that's not really my scene. I tried a few interracial sites, but it seemed like the only men on those sites were way older than I was comfortable with or just trolling.

A few friends had tried OKCupid, it was free and a majority of the users seemed to be around my age, so I thought I'd give it a try. I signed up, got the app, and began filling out my profile. Things were pretty dead for a while, I got a few profile hits, but the messages didn't start for about a week. And then things got... weird.

People don't always go on dating sites to find dates. Sometimes, they just want... well sex, but sometimes, they just want to be rude or creepy. Messages ranged from, "we would make pretty babies," to "You're cute, but I don't like your shoes," and "if you need a sugar daddy to spoil you let me know," to "if you don't reply, I'm dropping a bucket of puppies off of a bridge." I deleted OKC off of my phone so many times, but I always ended up redownloading it.

I went on maybe three dates before I met someone I thought might have a real chance. He was nice and we dated for three months or so, but he was insistent on moving much more quickly than I felt comfortable with and once I finally put my foot down about it, he accused me of being childish and demanded I never contact him again. Who would have thought that being honest about not feeling comfortable with something was childish? Boys.

I had one more date before I met him. It was nothing memorable, so I'll get right to the good stuff. I had a habit of looking at the people who had looked at me. So, if I saw a new name pop up on my list, I'd look at their profile and read their about sections and what books they liked. Most of the time, I didn't stay long. There were exceptions, but nothing really ever stood out.

Then it happened! Okay, it wasn't really that serious, but I was looking at the list of lookers and noticed a guy who, to me, looked like Captain America in his profile picture. And while I had never sent anyone a message first, I told him just that. I really liked his profile and we seemed like we would get along. We had a lot of common interests and I thought he was cute. We messaged back and forth until almost 4 am. 4 am! And the craziest thing is, it's been almost a year since we started dating and it doesn't feel like it at all.


Some people see dating sites as the last resort or for people with no friends... and maybe that's a little of my case, but I think they get a bad rep. Why not give it a chance? You never know what you might find.

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